Saturday, July 19, 2008

Dog sausage

A cat blog isn't anti-dog by definition, but all the best ones are, so here's another submission to the Evidence for the Prosecution.
Dog put down after biting off owner's toe
July 4, 2008

An American woman says her beloved miniature dachshund gnawed off her right big toe while she was asleep. Linda Floyd said her beloved Roscoe has since been put down because of safety concerns.
     The 56-year-old says she has no feeling in her toes because of nerve damage from diabetes. She discovered the toe missing after waking from a nap. A vet said that because the toe had been bandaged due to an ingrowing nail, it may have somehow attracted the dog.
AP
First face-lunching Labradors, now digit digesting dachshunds... what next? Child-chomping chihuahuas?! This growing list of unusual suspects acting like Hacksaw the beloved family Rottweiler who's "honestly never done that before" only goes to reinforce my long held belief that the only safe dog is a... well, 'dead dog' is a little drastic. An absent dog, then. I don't want them dead; I just don't want them around me. Thelma may not frighten off burglars, help me to cross the road safely, or entertain me as she runs on hilarious stubby legs, but at least I can sleep soundly knowing I'll wake in one piece.

3 comments:

JJ Glamma said...

Cleopatra has been known to gnaw on our feet as we sleep.

But then, one of our nicknames for her is "Catdog".

Apostropher said...

Yes, interesting that to reflect your cat's negative behaviour you label her half-dog. Consider the place dogs hold in the phrases and conventional wisdom of our Mother Tongue (who's in love with George the Hero):

Sick as a dog, Dog's breakfast, Dog-earred, Dog eat dog, Dogs of war, Gone to the dogs, Thrown to the dogs, Every dog has its day, In the doghouse, Dogsbody, Lapdog, Running dog and, of course, my personal favourite, As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

I don't need to condemn dogs; they do it well enough themselves. The only positive expression I can think of is "Dog is man's best friend," which, frankly, isn't saying much.

JJ Glamma said...

Yes, interesting that to reflect your cat's negative behaviour you label her half-dog.

No, we call her "Catdog" for various reasons - including the fact that on occasion she chases after items and brings them back - all of which are independent of her foot-gnawing activities.

But nice try, if a little catty.

Although one has to admire the doggedness with which you pursue your canine vendetta.